The Stinklings

I spent the past several days with the Stinklings. The Stinklings are three of my closest friends. We’re all about the same age. We all lead churches of about the same size. And we all want to “stay in the game” for the long haul.

Unfortunately, only about 25% of Senior Pastors of large churches finish well. The vast majority mess up morally, get involved in financial improprieties . . . you’ve seen the wreckage on the news. So how do we increase our odds of finishing well?

For me it means building some very solid relationships with guys I trust. We get together about every three months. Sometimes we work and sometimes we play. Always we ask each other hard questions: How are you doing in life and ministry? Are you maintaining a healthy Spiritual life? How’s your marriage? Are you spending time with your kids? The list of questions goes on and on.

The Stinklings all live in different geographical areas but that doesn’t stop us from getting together. We make it a point to have dinner at a particular conference we’re all attending. This past winter we met in Wisconsin and went snowmobiling together. Our most recent gathering was right here in Northern Ohio. Three days of beautiful golf. Steak at Baker’s. Barberton chicken. I shared all of my favorite things.

The best night was the night we had a bonfire at my house. We sat around it for several hours and simply talked about life and God and how everything was going. It was the most important time of our gathering in Ohio.

Proverbs 27:17 says, As iron sharpens iron, so one friend helps another stay sharp. Who do you have in your life that is helping you “stay sharp?” Who do you have in your life that is helping you “stay in the game?” Who is willing, in a very loving way, to ask you the “hard questions?”

Life is hard. With the current divorce rate hovering around 50%. With the lives of our children being assaulted by media, peer pressure . . . you name it. With financial pressures on the rise. Who do you have that is walking alongside of you? Who will pick you up if you fall down?

That’s why I have the Stinklings. Oh, and the name the Stinklings, comes from a group that author C. S. Lewis used to meet with. Only his group was called the Inklings. We didn’t consider ourselves worthy of the Inklings so we stuck with the Stinklings.

A teacher worthy of praise

Most of us, if we think long enough, can recall teachers who, even at a very young age, made an impact in our lives. I unfortunately remember a few statements made by teachers throughout my school career that were damaging. But also, very fortunately, I remember the words and actions from others who built up and encouraged and, in a positive way, helped set the trajectory of my life.

My daughter begins the third grade this year. But it is her second grade teacher that I want to praise. Throughout her second grade year I watched on numerous occasions as my daughter interacted with her second grade teacher, Mrs. Montgomery. I watched on the very first day of orientation when Mrs. Montgomery spoke words of hope and truth into my daughter’s life. Words as simple as “I can see that we are going to have a wonderful year together.” I watched as my daughter began to show a special affinity toward the arts that Mrs. Montgomery did not discourage her but prodded her to pour herself more fully into her giftedness. I listened as my daughter struggled in other subjects while Mrs. Montgomery encouraged her to work harder and walked alongside of her to give her confidence.

This summer my daughter and every other member of Mrs. Montgomery’s second grade class received a letter in the mail. The following is the one that Tabitha received.

August 8, 2007

Dear Tabs,

Summer is going fast. I have had a great time. I went to Florida for a week of vacation, taught Bible School, went to camp and worked in my garden. I have read over ten books. Some of the books were about being a better teacher and some were just fiction books.

I worked at Strausser every day last week. I saw your name on the picnic table. It made me think of what a great class we had last year. I really miss you. Tabs, you were an important part of the team.

Have you been reading and making a quick journal entry about the book? Remember you don’t have to write huge paragraphs. Just tell me the main idea. If you bring in your journal at Open House, I have a surprise waiting for you.

You are going to love third grade. It is more exciting than last year. In third grade you start to learn more science and social studies. The books you read will be full of interesting facts. You are ready!

Your teacher next year has lots to teach you. Every teacher you ever have will help you in a different way. Learn all you can from each one.

I know you will do well in third grade, Tabitha. Do your best on every assignment. Pay attention and work together with your team.

Remember that I will always be proud to have been your second grade teacher. No matter how old you get, I will be thinking about you and following news of you! Do great things!

Love,
Mrs. M.

After Tabitha met her new third grade teacher and toured her new classroom at Open House, the very next thing she wanted to do was visit Mrs. Montgomery. We made our way to the second grade hall and there Mrs. Montgomery reviewed Tabitha’s journal, looked directly into her eyes and said, “Tabs, you are going to have a wonderful year. Your third grade teacher is going to teach you even more than I taught you. I am very proud of you.” And she hugged my daughter before we walked away.

Small things. Spoken words of encouragement. A Hug. A brief letter. But who knows how these things “small things” might change the life of a child?

So, to all of you teachers who love and believe in children. To all of you who make the time to do the extra things. To all of you who take your position with the seriousness it deserves. And especially to Mrs. Montgomery. Thank-you. You are worthy of praise.

Life is fragile.

Last night I led the funeral of a 61 year old friend who died of pancreatic cancer. Just eight weeks ago he was diagnosed. No warning. There are no screening tests for this kind of illness.

Jerry, in his 61 years, lived the life that many people will live if they hang on till 90. He rode horses, raced motorcycles, played a lot of golf . . . but most importantly, he loved God and he loved his family.

Life is fragile. Live it now.

Enough stuff is enough stuff

My wife and I recently attended a “Lobsterfest” at the home of some friends of ours. Actually, we’ve attended the past several years. And each year we have been delighted to take a small gift as a token of our appreciation. This year however, along with the invitation came a thank-you to all of us who have graciously brought gifts in years past and an appeal for a special kind of gifts this year. The hosts asked us to bring backpacks filled with school supplies for elementary age children (they supplied a list of appropriate supplies). All of the filled backpacks would then be given to families in need in the area. At the end of the evening, 22 backpacks had been collected along with several cash gifts for further purchases!

The very next day our eight year old daughter attended a birthday party for one of her young friends. About fifteen children had been invited. And once again, a note accompanied the invitation. The young boy whose birthday it was happens to love animals, so instead of bringing a gift for him, would we please bring gifts for the Humane Society? My wife purchased several gallons of bleach and a couple of large bags of dog food as gifts (Once again, the birthday parents supplied a list of appropriate ideas).

I’m seeing this trend more and more in people’s lives. People who are willing to say, “enough stuff is enough stuff.” It’s not that they don’t appreciate their friends loving them through the giving of gifts, it’s just that real joy comes when we can bless those who are in need.

Living in a culture of consumerism that consistently markets that we need more and more to be happy can only be combated by cultivating an attitude of generosity. For an eight year old boy to be willing to give to the Humane Society rather than receive fifteen more presents for himself is an amazing accomplishment!

So perhaps we could all become part of this trend? Find a charity that is close to your heart and find out what you can do to bless it. I guarantee you that if you ask, they will find a way.

Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” The best way to discover the truth of this statement is simply to try it.

The morning after the Lobsterfest I talked to our friends who hosted it. The wife simply said, “We always appreciated the gifts that people brought, but this was so fun to see the backpacks piling up and knowing that they were going to be given to those in need.”

It truly is more blessed to give than to receive.

Father of the year

This morning I read an interesting story that came out of Rome, Italy.

Legislators from Italy's Chrstian Democratic Party were scrambling this week to distance themselves from a colleague who was caught in a sex-and-drugs scandal. Cosimo Mele, 50, resigned from his party after a prostitute overdosed on cocaine in his hotel room. Still, he insists he is being unfairly judged. "Of course I recognize Christian values," Mele said. "But I cannot be branded a bad father and a bad husband simply because after five or six days away from home an occasion presented itself." (The Week Magazine)

Ummm, you're right Mr. Mele. You should get the "Father of the Year" award.

We all mess up. Or to put it the way the Bible says it, "We're all sinners." Let's own up to that fact and quit trying to candycoat the stupid things we have a tendency to do.

Gentiles and kings

I was reading this morning in the Book of Acts. Particularly the conversion of Saul--who would become known as the Apostle Paul. God says that "Saul is my chosen instrument to take my message to the Gentiles and to kings . . ." (Acts 9:15)

For Paul, who was raised as a devout, highly educated Jew, the mission to take the message to the Gentiles would have been the most demeening imaginable. The Gentiles were the scum of the earth.

You and I are called to the same mission as Paul--to take the message to those the world deems undesirable. Those who may not look like us, speak like us, live like us.

What caught my attention this morning was the second group that was included in the mission of Paul. "Saul is my chosen instrument to take the message to the Gentiles and kings . . ."

Certainly the Bible is consistent in stating that the poor, downtrodden and outcasts have a special place in God's heart. But God also cares for kings. He cares for people in prominent and powerful positions.

You and I are called to the same mission as Paul--to take the message not only to those that have been cast aside, but also to those who are spiritually broken but happen to be esteemed in the eyes of society.

The Good News of Jesus Christ is good news for all people.

Jesus-footprints

We went for a walk on the beach at sunset this evening. Tabitha was walking behind me. She said, "Daddy, your footprints are so big that I keep falling into them."

I said a quick prayer. "God help me to leave big "Jesus-footprints."

Your Girl

One of the books I've read on summer break is Your Girl by Vicki Courtney. It's a book my wife read and recommended to me two years ago. I'm sure the pastel cover was one of the reasons I put it off for so long. I wish I hadn't.

Your Girl is a MUST read for every mom with a daughter and I believe for dad's with daughters as well. Vicki deals with issues every daughter will face as she attempts to allow God to grow her into a godly woman. Though a bit over the top at times the book gives practical insights into the lives of young women who are facing dark times as they war against the pervading lies of our culture.

Pick this one up!

A day at the beach

Yesterday my family spent the day at the beach. A few observations . . .

*I took a couple mile walk up the beach. I love to people watch--it frequently gives me something to think and write about. On my way up the beach I came across a guy and his castle. Actually it was a sandcastle. This guy had done an amazing job of constructing a castle that was at least 10 foot by 12 foot, complete with moats, ornate turrets and bridges. The beer can decorations left a little to be desired but overall it was a very impressive structure. Oh, and the tide was coming in.

On my way back down the beach the same guy had a shovel and was frantically trying to divert the incoming waves from destroying his work of art. As I walked by he stood up in exasperation, locked eyes with me and said, "It's a losing battle."

Reminded me of a teaching Jesus used.

*Everyhwere I looked (Ummm, but tried not to linger) there were bellybutton piercings. One young lady that walked by had a gemstone encrusted cross hanging out of her bellybutton. I'm not even sure what to do with that one . . . Maybe she bought it at a Christian bookstore as a witnessing tool?

*While walking the beach I enjoy finding out what people are reading. Hundreds of people were sitting in their beach chairs, dangling their feet in the water, blissfully enjoying their latest beach read. It seemed like every other person I passed was reading a James Patterson novel.

I used to enjoy reading Mr Patterson's stuff. Pretty mindless "take me away" kinds of reads. I say I "used to enjoy" because I quit reading Patterson about two years ago when he was churning out a new book about every three months. How could he do it? He began to "not really write" his own books. If you see his recent titles you notice that he is listed as the author with so-and-so.

Unfortunately you're not really reading Patterson anymore, you're reading a diluted version of the original.

I wondered what people see when they "read" my life. As a Jesus-follower I want to represent the original Jesus as accurately as possible. I wonder how diluted the version I'm portraying to people really is.

*Okay, the day was coming to a close. We had been camped out near the Lifeguard Stand the entire afternoon. I noticed the Lifeguard, who was sitting on a six foot wooden throne, begin to talk to my wife. The dialogue went something like this:

"Are all of those kids yours?" (Our daughter Tabitha had been playing in the sand with four other children.)

My wife responded, "Oh, no, just the one in the purple and blue suit. The others are friends she just met."

"I didn't think they were all yours. You look way to good to have that many children."

Blush.

"Do you work out?"

"Umm, yeah."

"You look great."

A few moments later Julie came over and sat down beside me. "Is my face red?" she asked. (She was concerned about sunburn.)

"No, but it is glowing."

"What do you mean?"

"I heard what the Lifeguard said to you."

A smile began to cross her face. "You heard that?"

"Yeah, I'm sitting downwind. Made your day didn't it?"

Big smile.

It's not every day that your spouse gets hit on by a Lifeguard--at least I hope not. The truth is that I'm thankful that Julie cares enough to keep herself looking good. I'm even more glad that she cares more about what's inside than outside (the Lifeguard couldn't begin to see that). I'm glad that I'm married to a smokin' hot wife--inside and out!

Praise

I was sitting on the front porch reading God's Word this morning. John writes about the Pharisees' rejection of Jesus saying, "They loved human praise more than the praise of God." I'm afraid that if John were writing about me, I would frequently fall under the same indictment.

When it comes to the kind of car I choose to drive.

When it comes to helpingTabitha to excel more in public school than in memorizing verses of the Bible.

When it comes to working on my golf game as opposed to working on my marriage.

When it comes to "image management."

Let me move to the more subtle.

When it comes to trying to "fit in" in a conversation rather than speaking the truth in love.

When it comes to doing what Greg Nettle wants rather than following the gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Unfortunately, the list could go on and on.

God, help me to desire your smile more than the applause of this world. Help me to seek the light of your face more than the lights of this world. I want my heart, my life, my desires to be You.

Apocalypto

I watched the movie Apocalypto last night. You might be aware that it is Mel Gibson's most recent forray into directing. And to keep things short but not so sweet, the movie was horrible. The best way to describe it is Rambo does the Mayan fall.

The only thing of value in the film is an opening quote from William Durant: A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within. (The quote at least gave me pause for thought.) Unfortunately I had to waste two and a half hours of my life for that opening nugget. I kept thinking "surely it has to get better?" But alas . . .

What's the worst movie you've ever seen? And, if you liked Apocalypto, let us know that as well--we could use a few more laughs!