Fierce Conversations

"A fierce conversation is one in which we come out from behind ourselves into the conversation and make it real--" that's how Susan Scott defines authentic communication in her book "Fierce Conversations."

She also writes, "The goals of fierce conversation are to . . . *Interrogate reality *Provoke learning *Tackle tough issues *Enrich relationships."

Scott gives some great insights into why our conversations tend to stay at a surface (and thus often meaningless) level. For example, "While we tell ourselves we are softening the message so as not to hurt someone else's feelings, we are really trying to protect ourselves."

She concludes that, "The best leaders talk 'with' people not 'at' them."

If you want to sharpen your communication skills then this is an important read.

Most miserable

Yesterday, Forbes.com listed the top 20 cities in America that are the "most miserable" to live in. And you guessed it . . . we're right in the armpit of it all. Cleveland topped the list at number 1. Canton is ranked number 9. And Akron made it in at number 12!

The rankings were assigned from a compilation of highest unemployment, high taxes, lousy weather, corruption by public officials and crummy sports teams (among other things).

I have to admit . . . this one hurt.

So, I started doing my own list: Why I love living in Northern Ohio.

1. Loyal sports fans. Let's face it, for those of us who have spent a lot of time in Northern Ohio, we have learned what it means to be loyal to our teams. We are NOT fair-weather fans. The Browns just might win the Superbowl this year!

2. Out of darkness shines the brightest light. A lot of eyes are on Northern Ohio. I believe with all my heart that God is doing a great thing here. There will come a time when people will ask, "What happened to turn Northern Ohio around?" And the only answer that will be given is simply: "Jesus."

3. When things are at their worst, the church is at its best. Misery is one of the greatest opportunities for the church to shine. I love being part of a church like RiverTree--A church that offers hope and healing in times of greatest need.

How about you?

This morning I saw Jesus

Early this morning I was with my friend Gary. We ran into a homeless man who had been standing outside since midnight waiting for a soup kitchen to open. Snowing all night and frigid temperatures.

Gary invited this man to have a cup of coffee. The guy was quite literally almost frozen. Gary rubbed his hands together to warm them--it was the only way the homeless guy could hold a cup of coffee. Gary then proceeded to take the guy's tennis shoes off--they were soaked. The homeless guy didn't have any socks on. Gary got a towel and dried the man's bare feet.

This was the amazing part . . . Next, Gary took off his own shoes and socks and put his socks on the homeless man's feet.

This morning I saw Jesus . . . in the homeless man . . . and in Gary.

Find another church . . .

Here's the deal on what I said this past weekend about encouraging people to find another church if they just want to sit on the sidelines, be fed week in and week out, and be consumer "Christians."

Far too many people in the USA attend a church rather than "be" the church. And the church can never be what God wants it to be if we're not all participating in the Body of Christ.

Now, if you are healing or still trying to decide if you want to be a Jesus-follower, that's a different story. At times we're wounded and need time to recoup. At times we need to figure things out.

All I'm saying is that being a follower of Jesus (which implies you are part of the church) means an active faith. It means we don't "come" to church to be entertained. We "go out" as the church to bring God's Kingdom now and forever. If you're attending a RiverTree Campus to "fill up," and you never "go out," then you'll just be a fat Christian. You'll be continually uncomfortable at RiverTree because that's not what we're about. It would probably be best if you found another church. BUT, if you want to join us on this journey, partnering together to change the world in Jesus' name, then let's go--let's encourage one another along the way--let's be a movement of people with the DNA of Jesus, inhabiting and influencing every nook and cranny of society and culture!

I see you

Among the tribes of northern Natal in South Africa, the most common greeting, equivalent to "hello" in English, is the expression: "sawu bona." It literally means, "I see you." If you are a member of the tribe, you would probably reply by saying "sikhona" or "I am here." The order of the exchange is important: until you see me, I do not exist. It's as if, when you see me, you bring me into existence.

My two year old son will stand in front of me and clap his hands when I'm watching television. I'll say, "I see you Elijah." But he'll continue to clap and to watch me. He wants to know if I really see him or if my attention has quickly returned to the TV. "Daddy, do you really know that "I am here?" Sometimes I'll mute the TV so that I can place my full attention on him, or I'll take him into my lap. I want him to know that I really do see him. That he matters.

How many times throughout a day does someone stand in front of me and wonder if I really see them? If I am really present with them.

God, this day, help me to see people. To affirm that they are really here. That they matter.