How to endear yourself to your mother-in-law
My mother-in-law, Linda, came home from the hospital yesterday. Only 1 in 10 people survive the ordeal she experienced. I won quite a few points with "Mom Rex" throughout this adventure. Here's how to endear yourself to your mother-in-law during a hospital stay . . .
Mom Rex was in an induced coma for 24 hours. The rest of the family left me alone to sit with her in ICU while they got some coffee. What could happen? After about a half hour of sitting with Linda she began to awaken from her sleep. She was restrained (so that she couldn't rip out her breathing tube, etc.) Her eyes opened in a bit of a panic and eventually landed on me. She tried to focus and mouthed the words "what happened?" I took both of her hands in mine and said, "I'm getting rid of you." (Straight out of a Stephen King novel.)
Four days later, Linda had a defibrillator implanted. Once again I was with her when she came out of her twilight state (what's wrong with this family?). I explained to her that I paid extra for an upgraded defib unit. "What does that mean?" she groggily asked. "I have a button that can fire the electric shock in your chest as I think it's needed." She quickly returned to her happy twilight place.
Just before being released Linda said to me, "Greg, you're a Pastor. When this first happened I saw a bright light. What was that?" (Linda had actually experienced sudden death.) My answer was easy . . . "Fire."
Okay, so maybe I didn't say all of those things . . . but they did cross my mind.
Mom Rex was in an induced coma for 24 hours. The rest of the family left me alone to sit with her in ICU while they got some coffee. What could happen? After about a half hour of sitting with Linda she began to awaken from her sleep. She was restrained (so that she couldn't rip out her breathing tube, etc.) Her eyes opened in a bit of a panic and eventually landed on me. She tried to focus and mouthed the words "what happened?" I took both of her hands in mine and said, "I'm getting rid of you." (Straight out of a Stephen King novel.)
Four days later, Linda had a defibrillator implanted. Once again I was with her when she came out of her twilight state (what's wrong with this family?). I explained to her that I paid extra for an upgraded defib unit. "What does that mean?" she groggily asked. "I have a button that can fire the electric shock in your chest as I think it's needed." She quickly returned to her happy twilight place.
Just before being released Linda said to me, "Greg, you're a Pastor. When this first happened I saw a bright light. What was that?" (Linda had actually experienced sudden death.) My answer was easy . . . "Fire."
Okay, so maybe I didn't say all of those things . . . but they did cross my mind.
posted by Greg Nettle at 7:05 AM
10 Comments:
LOL
lol! Oh, man! This made my day...you have the same inappropriate, slightly alarming sense of humor that I do.
lol! Oh, man! This made my day...you have the same inappropriate, slightly alarming sense of humor that I do.
You're a sick, sick man. I knew I liked you. ;-)
Greg,
I just laughed out loud reading your blog!! In light of the serious situation you just experienced with your mother-in-law, I'm happy to see you have used your sense of humor to help cope with everything. I'm glad to hear that Mom Rex is doing much better and enjoyed your "take" on being with her in those vital moments. Hopefully, it will help others find moments of joy when they are too stressed to see anything else.
~ Lori
I DEFINITELY WANT TO STAY ON YOUR GOOD SIDE. IF THOSE IDEAS ARE IN THERE, I DONT WANT TO BE YOUR SUBJECT WHEN THEY COME OUT.
STEVE
The funnies! Especially.... I am getting rid of you! Sick and wrong; LOL!!!
Your sense of humor is the best! Thanks for being a human pastor! Soooo refreshing! Love it!
Greg, while I appreciate your humor, you have scared us off -- the mention of this in your sermon, from what we remember, said nothing about this not being said directly to your mother-in-law, while in your blog post you say it was not said. Which was it? We are new to the church, don't know you that well, and frankly it feels a bit unsafe right now when we hear jokes about stuff like this and really don't know if you have a relationship with your mother-in-law where she can take something like this. Can you please clarify what you meant? The thought goes thru my mind -- what if he comes to visit me in hospital and says the same thing, and I'm wacked out on pain killers, hallucinating, and don't get the joke? Just doesn't feel safe!
Dear Anonymous,
Sorry to have scared you off. My mother-in-law and I have a GREAT relationship.
g
Greg,
I love your humor! Your humor/personality is exactly what keep my husband and I attending RiverTree.
My niece actually got me started - she called out of the blue - I hadn't spoken to her for quite some time due to a fight we had. She asked if I would attend her church, which was a surprise, with her on mothers' day. I was skeptical - I was raised catholic, 12 years of catholic schools, Sunday schools, etc. But, I was so happy to hear from her I did attend.
And, OH, WHAT a SURPRISE!! Your sermon almost brought me to tears...I have told many people about it ....I remember it and I think about it a lot.
Now, my husband and brother are also attending. We love to hear your sermons...we actually learn from them, so I thank you.
We are new to all this, but we are trying to practice everyday to be good Christians and to act on what we've learned....
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